It has been brought to my attention that doorknobs are bad.  I have one on my back door that does not work (it does lock though).  This same knob injured me a few months back. It stabbed me in the hand.  We Macgyvered it and it worked until recently.  Now you can get into the house but not out.  Not a handy feature for a back door.  RR does not have a doorknob on his front screen door because he is scared of dolphins.  Yes Dolphins. Apparently, the dolphins were seen being able to operate doorknobs on TV so it had to be removed so he sneaky bastards could not break into the house.  Of course, I understand completely. I mean they are pretty darn smart and while all evidence I have seen indicates that they are amiable this could very well be a cover-up.  They pretend to be nice while secretly plotting to take over the world in their little wet suits.  Any creature that has built in radar (add bats to the list) is just not to be trusted. 

Early models of vacuum cleaners were powered by gasoline